milena_1980: (jaejoong)
[personal profile] milena_1980
Title: Sleeping With Ghosts: Slipping Away
Author: Milena Pandora/[ profile] milena_1980
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeChun
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Warning: Reference to suicidal feelings and self-harm.
Summary: Like an empty shell.
A/N: This is a very short scene told from Jaejoong's point of view, his thoughts in Chapter 2: Running.
A/N 2: Thanks to [ profile] emda for the feedback <3
A/N 3: I wrote this just after posting the latest chapter. I may write other short scenes from Jaejoong's point of view. Chapter 26 will be finished soon, hopefully. I hope that you like it.
A/N 4: Jongwoon is Yesung from Super Junior. It is his real name.

Jongwoon drives almost quietly. Every once in a while, he glances at your wrists; although he can't see the bandages around them, you still pull your long sleeves further down.

"Thanks for doing this," you say after a while. The sense of euphoria you felt all that month is entirely gone; now you feel like an empty shell. Still, this empty shell needs to do one more thing before it can allow itself to be pulled in by the current.

The car stops. You don't want to look at the house you have visited so many times before; you don't want to look at it and know that it might very well be the last time you see it.

Jongwoon looks at you, waiting, before letting out an impatient sigh.

"You don't really want to do this, do you?" he asks, for the twentieth time or so. You don't want to answer. "Can't he come along with us? You were going to get a place together anyway, right? Just tell him to pack his stuff and we'll wait for him-"

"No!" you stop him, but your voice is little more than a whisper. "He has a future here, things he can't do if he comes with me. His parents are sending him to university."

"Which he doesn't even want!" Jongwoon knows this well—you've complained about it several times. "Just ask him to come with us. The worst that can happen is he says no."

That's what I'm afraid of, you think. You won't be able to take it if he says no. Taking a deep breath, you get out of the car and stare at the dark, silent home. Your lover's window is dark, which means he's asleep. Has he been able to sleep since you . . . disappeared? You look down at the bandages around your wrists.

He'll never know about these, you think, strengthening your resolve.

That thought in mind, you go up to that window you have knocked on so many times, usually to go to the beach—the place you love the most—with Yoochun—the person you love most.

I probably look like shit, you realize. It doesn't matter, though. He'll be happy to see you, and maybe he'll be sad after you're gone, but he'll get over it, and though the thought of him forgetting you hurts like hell, you know it's the right thing to do, it is.

It has to be.

When it's finally over—after you say goodbye and he looks at you, dark eyes filled with grief and desperation; after you kiss him, one last kiss that you hope you never forget—you hurry over to the car, way too afraid you'll look back and change your mind.

"Go!" you tell Jongwoon . The older man lets out another impatient sigh, but drives away. He says nothing while you break down in tears that are sad, angry, resentful, painful and more, all at once.

It was the right thing to do, you tell yourself, over and over, even though the tears won't stop flowing.

<<Part 25|Part 26>>

Date: 2013-03-12 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

A short one but still. I have so much feels for this fic that, whenever I check LJ, I always pray I see an update from you but at the same time I pray there's none. Conflicting emotions, I know. An update means one step closer to the end, but if there's none, means I can still enjoy this painful and twisted love story. I love this dysfunctional couple so much, you know. But yes, I know, in time it has to end... it has to be :(

I may write other short scenes from Jaejoong's point of view. Chapter 26 will be finished soon, hopefully. I hope that you like it.

Looking forward to read more in Jaejoong's POV, I'll be waiting! Don't rush Chapter 26, okay? Lemme prepare my heart first, before, before it ends...

Thank you so much for updating <3

Date: 2013-03-12 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks for giving us Jaejoong's POV in running.

PS: I don't know if I've gotten things mixed up, but I thought it was mentioned in earlier chapter that the guy that fetch Jaejoong away was Yunho or was it another scene? Maybe I've mixed them up >.<; Need to re-read this story. I still have a few updated chapters that I haven't read yet.

Welcome back, Pandora.

Date: 2013-03-12 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is one of those fics that cannot be forgotten, no matter how long it takes for updates.

I am so happy you've given us more. Stories like this just don't come along that often. (Only once, actually.)

It will be pleasure/pain rereading in anticipation of C26.

Date: 2013-03-12 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh fuck!

Literally dropped all my work stuff to read this(bad teacher is bad but I love this too much to not read it). I love you. I worship you.

I feel this piece, I've felt this brand of emotion as well. I find it sad (somewhat comforting as well) to find a piece that can reflect a part of me (or what was me. . )


Date: 2013-03-12 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OMG!!! I almost freaked out when i saw you've updated. Even a short one. Jaejoong's POV.... All the time I wonder thought how much pain he goes when he realizes what's he's doing (even thou i wanna smack him sometimes >_< and them cure his bounds and give him to Yoochun hands so they can heal each others souls).

I'm waiting for more, already. *_* <3

Date: 2013-03-13 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
To be honest, I always wanted some sort of Jae POV for this story. He's such a complex character and we only get Yoochun's perception of who Jae is. I see you're going to write more of these? I'm happy~♥

Date: 2013-03-13 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
have I mention that I love your fic?
ah... I missed your fic like crazy. I was not expecting this. love it as always

Date: 2013-03-15 07:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
a look into Jaejoong's mind......... ;-;
like getting a deeper glimpse into understanding jae....

as heartbreaking almost every part can be, i cant stop reading it!
every new part you write is like revealing something more unknown about your characters that we thought we did know!

Thank you

Date: 2013-05-28 04:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I found this fanfic and read it all today. I am an emotional wreck, but this fic is absolutely wonderful! Now I will join other fans waiting for your updates. I admire your writing tremendously. Thank you for continuing on over 4+ years. That is tremendous dedication. You are an inspiration to me in my own writing.
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